That's a huge task, what I can say is that I feel insecure most of the time. There is hardly an hour in the day when I am out of the house, that I am not aware of some body staring, not the polite double take, a definite stare that is designed to intimidate. I say that I have become immune to this, but the truth of the matter is that I do feel hurt and often scared; when its made so obvious the intent is to make me unconformable, I cant predict the next moment. I have been verbally abused and occasionally confronted, and to me, the fear is very real. Trying to live a normal existence has become a balance of bravado towards those that know me; less they suffer concern for my safety and well being, and a constant state of anxiety for me. All normal pleasures in life can be striped in an instant on these occasions, the joy of a moment replaced by the leaden weight left in my stomach and the tension of adrenaline in my system.
09/11/2015
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